Friday, January 15, 2010

Agony and Irony

Have you ever found God hard to figure out? His Words are true and his character unchangeable, but sometimes His ways are not understandable or predictable. Overall, I am thankful God is bigger than any box I might have for Him… but admittedly not so much today.

Outside of a few family members and friends we had not yet announced our exciting news that Laura was pregnant. The timing was a surprise but our joy was immense; we felt like the Lord was blessing our family after a season of testing (the due date was August 28th, the day before Emily’s one year anniversary). The pregnancy seemed strong, Laura did everything right, and we were fervent in prayer (the daily prayer of the kids: “Lord, can we keep this one?”).

Sadly, our announcement now is simply that we are not out of the valley; our “one more shot” at having another baby came to an end yesterday with a miscarriage. The Lord clearly has another plan and we carry another wound. We are not sure how to process this one other than seeing again the Lord does not always put the grieving in a protective bubble to fend off further pain (remember Job?). We would appreciate your prayers.

Agony aside, in a weird twist of irony as my wife was having a miscarriage my sister was having her first baby. I mention this good news as we asked for prayer for baby Clara previously on this blog. The latest news is that Clara is healthy, chunky, and a fervent eater. We are thankful that all is well.

“For my ways are not your ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9


  1. Ryan & Laura,
    We are so sorry to hear this news....Tara and I will continue to pray for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your journey...sometimes it helps to know we're not walking alone and to know the emotions that we sometimes feel are normal. Thank you for being real with us.
    Brad & Tara

  2. I think of you all often and my prayers are with you. Emily remains in my heart and I hope that soon you will all find your peace amidst the chaos.