Friday, September 11, 2009

It's Been a Week: September 11, 2009

"It's been a week."

Laura's words this morning snapped me back to the previous Friday, the day we said our final goodbye and Emily's casket was lowered into the ground. In kindness people have often asked how we doing, but this simple question is a difficult one: how are we supposed to be doing? We manage to get up each morning and find our toothbrush so I suppose that counts for something.

In all seriousness the Lord has been our help each day. We are eating, sleeping and taking care of our responsibilities, but there are those moments- those unexpected mule-kicks in the gut when all the hurt storms back and knocks the wind out. All it takes is a quick glance at Emily's handprint hanging on our wall, hearing her name, or a flash memory of her long fingers or toes and we are right back in that hospital delivery room freshly grieving the loss of our daughter. Yesterday I (Ryan) met with a friend I'm discipling at a coffee shop and all he asked me was how I was doing. I wish he wouldn't do that... people sipping their lattes around us began to stare as two men wept.

Tonight Laura and I are going on a date and we are going to bring Emily flowers. Its been a week.
“We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us” 1 Thessalonians 2:8

On another note, it has been encouraging to see how the Lord has been using Emily's brief life to make an impact. Whether from this blog or the unfolding of relationships (this person know that person, etc.) we have had incredible conversations and opportunities to minister. One example is that we have been invited to share next Tuesday our story to a group of medical students at the University of Colorado. Laura is getting her doctorate degree in a medical field and I can hardly spell anencephaly so I think she will do most of the talking. We appreciate you prayers.


  1. Thank you so much for starting this blog, Ryan and Laura. The opportunity to walk through this experience with you and share a little piece of Emily's life has been a priveledge and profoundly moving. She has touched many lives already and she will not be forgotten.

    I pray for you all today and every day and I would gladly take your pain, so that you might be spared.